First of all, Jay and I would like to welcome Dan back to Anoka County. Welcome Dan. We have a new Target since you left. In fact, it’s a Super Target. Flameburger is still going strong, there is a new liquor store across from the Super America and The Crab House went tits up.

Now, whats new with The Skullcranes? Nothing.

However, we have a plan and we will share said plan with you.

We are now in what we call in the business, “pre-production” , for the the new record being released May 15th 2009. The new record equals pretty fucking awesome.

We have shows lined up in Minneapolis, Madison and Chicago in May.

That’s all for now. Happy new year.

Hey 2008, guess it didn’t work out. Meet my new year, 2009. Now get your shit out of my house.

After 8 years of struggling for street credibility, The Skullcranes have completely given up. ” Fuck it, I don’t see what the big deal is.” stated Laubach, the groups’ bass player. Management representing the upper-midwest rock outfit released a press release in a Hungarian newspaper (The Skullcranes are a pretty big deal in Hungary) stating that the 8 year media blackout is over and that The Skullcranes are now open for questions. Comparing this event to the tearing down of the Berlin Wall and following disintegration of the Soviet Union and Glastnost, a Skullcrane represenative unveiled a new page on their website called “Skullcrane F.A.Q.” . “F.A.Q. stands for frequently asked questions!” said the represenative very slowly so that the Hungarian people would understand.
The “Skullcranes F.A.Q.” page is located on the right side of the bands website under “Skullcranes F.A.Q.” and is open to the public for questions and comments.

THE SKULLCRANES.

Last show for a long time. Halloween night at The Bulldog in Northeast Minneapolis.

Why should you go to this you ask?

1.Ever been to a show at The Bulldog?

2. Dumpster Juice plays after us.

3. Dan is single.

4. Johnson remembers words to songs now.

5. Number four was a lie.

6. Be the first one to hear some of the new Skullcrane songs.

7. What else are you gonna do.

8. Seriously.

9. Dan is single.

O.k.-

First of all, thanks to all of you in Oshkosh and Madison who came out to see us while and resisting the urge to throw piss soaked sneakers at us. Those of you who bought shit from us…..Double Thanks.
Oshkosh was awesome as always and I think we played well, now lets talk about Madison. Let me start out by saying sorry to Madison and the good folks at The High Noon Saloon. Please accept our apology for taking a giant shit on your stage. We are good for a real stinker every 5 or 6 shows and unfortunatley your number came up. We felt pretty bad about it that night but, I think if we talk about it and work through this with assistance from a self help audio cassette series we can get through this together,on both an emotional and spiritual level.
So other than that, we played some Tiger Woods golf on the PS2 as well as some Tekken. We had Thai food one night. Gas is much cheaper but the brakes in the van went out. Fuck.

Moving on……

FRIDAY OCTOBER 31 at the BULLDOG N.E. !!!!!!

Come early and eat. This a costume event. Don’t be too cool, just do it. It might even be free, I will double check that. We usually kick nine kinds of booty the show after we sucked really bad so you got that going for you…….

ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!

We have new t-shirts. Well, they are not really new, they are just a new color.

SEE YOU HALLOWEEN!!

BREAKING NEWS….DATELINE…..HILLTOP,MN.

Sources close to The Skullcranes have announced that the band has recently took the V.C.R out of their van and replaced it with a PS2. When asked about the sudden change in OTR entertainment strategy, “We have always prided ourselves on being in the forefront of technology” stated Wahl, the guitarist in the Upper Midwest “trailer punk” band. “Yeah”, states Johnson, the drunk one, “You can only watch Snatch so many times plus I need to get passed that fucking spot in Call of Duty I have been stuck on for a month…holy christ I hate those Germans.”

All-

So, we made halloween plans for you. We are playing at The Bulldog in Northeast Minneapolis Friday October 31st. You’re welcome again. This is a chance for all of you dudes to dress slutty. I know we will be. Dressing slutty I mean.

Also, October 10th in Oshkosh (one word, thanks Brad from Droids Attack, no need for name calling) with Droids Attack. October 11th we will be in Madison WI at The High Noon Saloon.

We have some other shows in the works so check back often so you don’t miss the rock.

In other news, The Skullcranes have been working on a new record. We will be recording sometime in the next 4 months and hope to have a new record for you before the spring. The 5 songs we have cooking so far kick so much ass that we are all very optimistic that they will be used in treating S.T.D’s such as clamidia.

- Das Skullcranes

It had been 4 long months and it was nice to see all of you! Keep checking back for upcoming shows.

Hey bands with donate buttons on your website,

Well congratulations idiots. Finally, you did something right with your “band”. Obviously, this was the idea from some party outside the band but I think we can overlook that due to the fact you all agreed to it. I think it is a great idea that we can now go to your website and click a “donate” button to give you some money for all the wonderful memories and free shit we have received from you through the years. Hopefully this added “flow” can keep all of us in new Skullcrane buttons, stickers and other shit that we always get free. Also, understanding that t-shirts are expensive and un-give-away-able, we hope that we can see a variety of “new” t-shirts for sale at future Skullcrane shows.
You guys are still a bunch of dicks though.
So, I am going to donate some hard earned money. Not alot, a few bucks. However, the way I look at it is that it makes me “part owner” of The Skullcranes and gets me a christmas card from The Skullcranes every year. It also gives me the right to have my opinion heard, requests taken seriously and urgently you fuckers. (we need a new record, play a show for free assholes, etc)

Sincerely, from myself and the other 4 or 5 fans, get bent.

1. Watch video
2. Count how many times The Skullcranes FU*K UP

3. Provide a comment with your answer (points for creativity and ass kissing)
4. Winner of contest wins a leftover 2XXL Skullcrane T-Shirt!!!!