1. Watch video
2. Count how many times The Skullcranes FU*K UP

3. Provide a comment with your answer (points for creativity and ass kissing)
4. Winner of contest wins a leftover 2XXL Skullcrane T-Shirt!!!!

Hey bands that break up only to get back together 3 months later,

Who in the fuck….do you think you are? Ohhh, it’s our last show…..come check it out…….buy our stuff……hugs and shit.

I hate to be the bringer of reality but, nobody cares. Most people were glad not to ever see your dumb faces again. You act like you guys had talent. I guess if by talent you mean stupid you are right.

We came out to your ridiculous shows in snow, rain, wind-chill warnings, black ice, Calcutta Clippers, tornado warnings, blizzard conditions and basically nights we had better shit to do.

We bought your t-shirts, your c.d.’s, we put your shitty oversized bumper stickers on our bumpers, we put your pins on our jackets only to eventual stab ourselves in the fucking sternum. We actually hated you and still do.

We read your 3rd grade reading level blogs and bulletins while wondering if we should correct this morons spalling or gremmer. Or, at least buy them that book “100 words that make you sound smarter” if only to make the reading more intellectual stimulating for us.

Some of us, on our own buck, even traveled half way across the midwest to see you stink it up in front of a whole new group of people. (by the way, we didn’t admit it to anybody, we said we were there for the drink special.)

So I guess you expect us to say “can’t wait for your first show at Club Underground opening for The Good Year Pimps September 12th show starts at 10 and we will be happy to pay the 8 bucks” or ” can’t wait to hear some more recordings so I can pay for it and then you put it up on your website for free a week later” or ” can’t wait to buy a new t-shirt but you don’t have my size so you will feed me a line of bullshit like “they run small” so this will work but it fits weird and I will never wear it. And it itches, what the fuck” or ” I have been here since 8:00 because that is what it said on myspace…..no big deal I guess” or “You guys fuck up alot, no, I mean alot, but it’s cool”.

Don’t hold your breathe Skullcranes. This time we are bringing the rubber chickens.

Again, one Brett Favre comment equals punch in the face. Besides, I’ve already heard all the good ones: “Hey, you guys gonna go play for New York?”, “Next run of t-shirts gonna have a 4 on them” ” Hey won’t your next record be your 4th?”

We didn’t cry when WE retired. Suck it. Also, we still have shit to sell.

Shows currently lined up:

October 10th. Reptile Palace, Oshkosh WI, with Droids Attack
October 11th. The High Noon Saloon, Madison WI, Mad’ Rollin Dolls after party

Nothing local yet, however, shit in the works.

I know this has been a difficult roller coaster of emotion for all of you.

Do it, The Skullcranes

*an email from Thomas, our digital media guru*

I uploaded Hate My Job this morning and it’s already one of the most active tunes of the day.

“All over America, cube drones are listening to this: Monitors are being smashed, coffee pots being peed in, asses on the copier machine. And it also makes the song I was going to post today ‘another day another dollar’ seem like a Barney sing-along. I shall wait another week!”
- jsuspect (http://thesixtyone.com/jsuspect)

“I needed this song this morning.I can’t stop laughing..and I like my job:-)”
- cicerhode (http://thesixtyone.com/circerhode/)

“This was PERFECT for today. Gets me going. This is pure punk at it’s best!”
- Apocalypse (http://thesixtyone.com/Apocalypse)

That is all. Back to your crappy jobs.

-Thomas

“This is not the greatest song in the world, this is just a tribute.”

Trivia Quiz: What was the final song that The Skullcranes played at their goodbye gig last night?

Answer with your comments below…

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

Everything The Skullcranes have ever recorded is now available for FREE DOWNLOAD at www.theskullcranes.com. Thats right. Free. Oh, except for “Golden Fucking Pancake”, that still has to be purchased at www.round13records.net on the R13 Compilation. Also, there is a song called ” I’m a muppet, so suck it” that was recorded for a movie about a homicidal muppet copkiller called “STUFF’D”. This movie was made locally (Minneapolis) by Sleepy Eye productions. Not sure where you can find it, but you all are smarter than us so good luck with that.
Now, to address the bitter folks who paid hard earned dollars for Skullcrane C.D.’s in the past……… The photo of the band on the cover of the C.D. is totally hot. Totally worth 10 bucks. Also, these are super-high quality MP-3’s you can download. They actually make your IPOD get warm and vibrate when you put them in there. Some people have claimed that after installing Skullcrane songs into their IPOD, it becomes like one of those decision making 8 BALLS. Yeah, I guess all you have to do is ask it a question, give it a good shake, then it tells you no, maybe, yes, change your phone number, that’s just not O.K., I would consult a physician, she’s your cousin, buy a skullcrane t-shirt May 17th at The Convention Center, etc.
There has also been claims that when downloading Skullcrane songs onto your computer, it “runs faster” and “just smells smarter”.
But, if you still need to vent about spending that 10 bucks, what better place than than the skullcrane website. Comment on.
The “Wt. Trashmore” as well as the “jskullcrane” actual C.D.’s will still be available for purchase through the ROUND 13 RECORDS website if you are totally old school and can’t hang with living in 2008.
So there you go. Enjoy and see you MAY 17th at The Minneapolis Convention Center. Get your tickets in advance so you only have to pay $10 instead of $12.

For information on where to buy said tickets, go to:

www.northstarrollergirls.com

In the words of our late, great, 32nd president, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, ” Fuck em’ , stick a fork in ‘em, they are done.”
Eight years of being mildly yet loudly retarded, The Skullcranes are calling it a good run. Don’t ask why. Lets just say Jimmy quit and Joey got married, you should have known they would’nt get far, you prying judgers. Don’t judge us. Dicks.

In the last eight years we have been to Minneapolis, St Paul, Moorhead, Council Bluffs, Topeka, Lawrence, St Louis, Cedar Falls, Rockford, St Cloud, Fargo, Des Moines, Montevideo, Crystal, Iowa City, Menominee, Oshkosh, Eau Claire, Madison, LaCrosse, Beaver Dam and your mom’s house. Most of them many times. Especially your mom’s house.

We have met ALOT of really cool people and couple of dickheads here and there. We have played with bands that are Emo, Folk, Metal, New-Metal, Super-metal, Stoner Rock, Punk, Country, Hammered, Strait Edge, Hip Hop, Self-Inflated, Cutters, Republicans, Whigs, Democrats, Farmers, Growers, Buyers, Sellers, Techno, Electro, One man, Two man, Two man and a chick, 3 Chicks and dude, Native American, One chick and guitar, One bass player and a bunch of gear, funny guys, sad eyes, comedians, raffle offers, jack offers, sinners, losers and winners.

Would not trade it for anything.

We have been paid, not paid, sold some shirts and sold some C.D.’s. Gin and tonic, whiskey coke, margarita senorita, beers, teers, jeers and we have killed some bars’ supply of Jameson.

Had some of the best 3 in the morning breakfasts of all time. Some of you were there.

We’ve had vans break down. Vomited quite a bit, and stayed at a K.O.A. We’ve had no heat, no A.C. , strong smells of anti-freeze, a little blackjack and that’s a fact Jack. A little this, a little that and some pats on the back.

The Skullcranes last show will May 17th at the Northstar Roller Girls championship bout in the Minneapolis Convention Center. 10 in advance and 12 at the door.

On behalf of all of us in The Skullcranes, Thank you and CHEERS!

Hey upcoming 12 hours,

Where is everybody? I don’t know.
I’m gonna be late. How late?….hello?
Fuck we are gonna get there late. We need gas. I need food. Fuck Burger King.
Damn, they are STILL working on this stretch of 94, what the fuck.
What movie do you guys wanna put in? I’m sick of all these movies. Why did you bring D.V.D’s? This is a VHS.
Fuck, there is no sound.
Can you turn the heat UP? Damn, who’s feet reek?
I don’t see what the big deal is.
Can you turn the heat down?
Shit, put it away, that was a cop.
Dude, were you speeding and can you turn the heat up?
What exit do we take? I thought you knew. Where is the map? It’s at the space, remember? We were looking at it to see how to get there.
Man, I gotta piss.
Who’s got the lighter?
Fuck me running Chief Brown Cloud!!! That’s really foul …good one!! Roll down the window please.
Hey, turn up the heat!!
You just missed the exit.
Thanks for telling me.
We did!!
Hey you got that mapqwest thing? No.
There it is. South.
No SOUTH!!
Jesus Christ……who’s got the lighter?
Can I get one of those?
We need gas again.
Holy shit, 98 dollars.
Who’s got the lighter?

+++2 1/2 hours of pure silence+++

15 more miles.
This sucked.
Is that snow?
What hotel are we looking for?
Something with an eight or a six in the name.
I think. Or maybe it’s Park something……or something park…
There it is.
What time do we need to be at the club?
I don’t know, what’s it called again?
Where is it?
Shit, I forgot the merch.
Fuck, that IS snow.

FRIDAY: Beaver Dammmmm Wisconsin. Jim’s Cellar. With Droids Attack and Orange Blank.

SATURDAY: Osh Kosh Wisconsin. The Reptile Palace. With Droids Attack and Orange Blank.

Don’t listen to the weather forecast. It’s all just a big conspiracy to keep the economy going. Blame Bush. It’s part of the economic stimulus plan to keep the big pick ups with snowplows filled with gasoline. Holyshitpolitical.

BIG V’S!!!!!!