Hey customer,

Listen to me closely. Don’t ever let anybody tell you that the customer is always right. That phrase happens to be one of the top five biggest fallacys of all mankind. You see, this phrase was developed in the early 20th century by a coalition of ultra-leftists and uber-utopians to help people like you feel better about yourself.  So next time you are at a chinese restaurant (by the way, thats not Chinese food, it’s shitty Americanized egg noodle dishes soaked in MSG and served to you by Asian-looking folks) and you think your egg drop soup tastes funny so you want to bitch at the poor Cambodian girl because you are some fucking Chinese food expert ( refer to earlier parenthesized fact) please remember, you are not at home.

Sincerely, The Management.