March 7th, 2008 The Sixty One (In Memory Of Gary Gygax)
Suck it - traffic signs of all types. This is an undeserved message with a tune that rocks. F-T-S-S
- Weaslecoup (level 7) reviewing Stop Signs R 4 Suckers
Suck it indeed.
February 13th, 2008 Essay contest, gigs, Johnson’s mustache, etc…
Hey kids~
To everyone who made it out to the 400 Bar on Saturday; it was frickin’ cold (right up there with the Hexagon night), but a good bunch of you came to share the love, and we thank you. Johnson’s mustache was a big hit with ladies and gents alike; I do believe it got more applause than the debut of our new song “Jessica Lange“… Dang.
February 9th, 2008 Dime Bags for Ten Dollars!!!!!!
Dateline: Minneapolis/St. Paul, Mn / Wall Street Journal
The Uppermidwestern Trailer Punk band “The Skullcranes” have released a new marketing strategy says those close to The Skullcranes organization. “What it is,” states interm Skullcrane CFO known only as “Neck”, ” Is we put a bunch of Skullcrane shwag in a giant ziplock bag and sell it for only one fucking Hamilton!” The “dime bag” containing 3 C.D.’s (jskullcrane 2003, Wt. Trashmore 2006 and Cum On Feel The Shortbus 2007) a bumper sticker, a pin and usually some other random shit sells for ten dollars and is a brilliant yet risky marketing plan for the current economic climate states Jibby Fukitol, music columnist for Forbes magazine. ” There are two ways to look at it” says Fukitol, ” You may not like the music that much, but having a 1 gallon capacity zip lock sitting around is handy as fuck!”
The Skullcranes dime bag is available only at Skullcrane shows as marketing strategists from around the world waits cautiously to see how this pans out. To find locations of upcoming Skullcrane appearances visit www.theskullcranes.com
January 30th, 2008 Spread The Good Skullcranes Word
Wanna see what the “single” of the future looks like? Here it is:
Neat, eh? Now all we need is for you, the rabid Skullcranes fan, to embed that single in as many places as you can with as much accompanying praise as you can stomach (”They’re god-like in their appreciation of all things White Trash.”). How? Well, we’ve set up 4 different tracks that you can embed into your blog, your myspace profile, your facebook page, bulletin boards, etc., etc., etc.
The Omaha Jones
Stop Signs R 4 Suckers
Anoka County
Love Theme From The Skullcranes
Simply browse to the track detail page (or use the links above) and you’ll notice the “Embed” code. Copy that code and paste away. Now you’re a freakin’ DJ, wasn’t that easy? Unfortunately, we have no payola for you. But you should feel good anyway, knowing that you’ve helped spread the white trash gospel and made the world a slightly dirtier place.
January 18th, 2008 Official Press Bulletin#2
| OFFICIAL PRESS BULLETIN 2 |
| Dateline: Minneapolis Sources close to The Skullcranes claim they rock pretty hard. This coming after wide spread accusatory remarks regarding their ability to rock. Johnson had been recently quoted as to be saying “Suck it” and “Fuck it” regarding these claims. The bass player in the band known as Danne Frank has a job as an auto mechanic. Since the release of their junior effort “Cum on Feel the Shortbus” in late 2007, The Skullcranes have been eating a lot of red meat and smoking cigarettes. Investigators have unearthed large amounts of Thunderbird bottles outside the homes of all four members. The Skullcrane’s attorney, only known as “Cousin Jon” has been quoted in the local paper saying ” You can’t say you have been drinking all day if you don’t start in the morning”. |
January 17th, 2008 HUGE SHOW ON SATURDAY!!!!
By the way…….IT’S FREE!!!!!!!!!
NO COVER!!!!!!!
Yeah, thats right. Free.
******HEXAGON BAR******1/19/08******FREE******9:00 P.M.
January 16th, 2008 HUGE DAMN SHOW THIS SATURDAY!!!!!!!!
Thats right. Huge. This show is a MUST COME. A certain news entity (I’m not gonna say who, so suck it) will be there filming a bit of our show for a story on T.V. (none of that cable access shit either) about DJEDNA. If you don’t know what Djedna is that means you have not been paying attention to us, and frankly, that stings a little bit. I thought we were friends.
Q: What does this mean for The Skullcranes?
A: We are now totally huge. We don’t even know who you are anymore. No, we won’t sign that. I’m calling the cops.
Q: What does this mean for Djedna?
A: Some well deserved recognition for all the hard work Thomas has put into this. It’s about time if you ask me. Also, he’s huge too now. He isn’t signing anything either so don’t bother, or I’ll call the cops for him.
Q: What does this mean for the friends/fans of The Skullcranes?
A: It means, that when the film is rolling, please stand in front of the stage. Is it asking too much of you to make us look cool?
So, we will see ya there. We play first, because we know you all like it better that way.
9:00 P.M. HEXAGON BAR*MINNEAPOLIS* SATURDAY JAN. 19TH.
also on the bill: My Valkrie and Dumpster Juice
January 15th, 2008 *****show cancellation*****
*****show cancellation*****
March 1st @ The Club Underground has been cancelled.
How does this make you feel? Lets talk about it. Keeping it inside will only cause problems down the road. It’s out in the open now, where it should be. Let’s deal with this. Its O.K. to cry. Unless you are a dude, then we probably have to kick your ass for a being a pussy.
January 9th, 2008 The new record.
First of all, we prefer the term “effort”, thank you very much.
Secondly, It has been a month since “cum on feel the shortbus” has been taking up bandwith on the internet as well as sitting underneath the seat of your car having never been listened to. According to our records there are roughly 600 copies of this ”effort” in one form or the other, floating around the immediate area. So, having said that, we need to know if you like it. It’s been pretty fucking quiet over here in County Skullcrane. Say something. We have a website that is inter-active! I would be a smart ass and cut/paste from an online dictionary for you all the definition of inter-active, but then you would probably come back at me with some retort about using that SAME dictionary to learn how to fucking spell and shit and frankly, I just may be a little too fragile for that kind of verbal abuse right now.
(3)So, having said all that, forget what I said earlier. It’s not about you. Who do you think you are anyway? We are the artists. We create art for ourselves. Not for you.
See what you did? We hope you feel shitty about it. You should buy a new Skullcrane t-shirt when they come out.
If it was your choice, what would this Skullcrane t-shirt have on the front? Here ya go jack-asses. Here is your chance to be the artist.
By the way, if you hate the new Skullcrane ”effort”, refer to paragraph (3).
December 20th, 2007 Up Your Xmas!
Seasons Greetings!!
As a special thank you to everyone that’s supported us over the past year, we’d like to offer you our new album “Cum on Feel the Shortbus” as a free download!
Stop crying. It’s not that big of a deal.
Anyway, between now and midnight on Saturday, go to http://www.theskullcranes.com/redeem/upyourxmas/; you have to register before you can hug it, squeeze it, and call it George.
Those of you who have purchased the album already, THANK YOU, and remember that karma works. Those who want a physical CD, either come to a show, or send us $10 and we’ll mail you one sometime when we get around to it. Cheers!
hey there mister hindu, merry fucking xmas!
the skullcranes
