After 8 years of struggling for street credibility, The Skullcranes have completely given up. ” Fuck it, I don’t see what the big deal is.” stated Laubach, the groups’ bass player. Management representing the upper-midwest rock outfit released a press release in a Hungarian newspaper (The Skullcranes are a pretty big deal in Hungary) stating that the 8 year media blackout is over and that The Skullcranes are now open for questions. Comparing this event to the tearing down of the Berlin Wall and following disintegration of the Soviet Union and Glastnost, a Skullcrane represenative unveiled a new page on their website called “Skullcrane F.A.Q.” . “F.A.Q. stands for frequently asked questions!” said the represenative very slowly so that the Hungarian people would understand.
The “Skullcranes F.A.Q.” page is located on the right side of the bands website under “Skullcranes F.A.Q.” and is open to the public for questions and comments.
November 16th, 2008 Skullcranes discontinue 8 year media black out.
October 19th, 2008 Weekend roadtrip re-cap
O.k.-
First of all, thanks to all of you in Oshkosh and Madison who came out to see us while and resisting the urge to throw piss soaked sneakers at us. Those of you who bought shit from us…..Double Thanks.
Oshkosh was awesome as always and I think we played well, now lets talk about Madison. Let me start out by saying sorry to Madison and the good folks at The High Noon Saloon. Please accept our apology for taking a giant shit on your stage. We are good for a real stinker every 5 or 6 shows and unfortunatley your number came up. We felt pretty bad about it that night but, I think if we talk about it and work through this with assistance from a self help audio cassette series we can get through this together,on both an emotional and spiritual level.
So other than that, we played some Tiger Woods golf on the PS2 as well as some Tekken. We had Thai food one night. Gas is much cheaper but the brakes in the van went out. Fuck.
Moving on……
FRIDAY OCTOBER 31 at the BULLDOG N.E. !!!!!!
Come early and eat. This a costume event. Don’t be too cool, just do it. It might even be free, I will double check that. We usually kick nine kinds of booty the show after we sucked really bad so you got that going for you…….
ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!
We have new t-shirts. Well, they are not really new, they are just a new color.
SEE YOU HALLOWEEN!!
September 14th, 2008 Thanks for coming out!!
It had been 4 long months and it was nice to see all of you! Keep checking back for upcoming shows.
March 7th, 2008 The Sixty One (In Memory Of Gary Gygax)
Suck it – traffic signs of all types. This is an undeserved message with a tune that rocks. F-T-S-S
- Weaslecoup (level 7) reviewing Stop Signs R 4 Suckers
Suck it indeed.
February 13th, 2008 Essay contest, gigs, Johnson’s mustache, etc…
Hey kids~
To everyone who made it out to the 400 Bar on Saturday; it was frickin’ cold (right up there with the Hexagon night), but a good bunch of you came to share the love, and we thank you. Johnson’s mustache was a big hit with ladies and gents alike; I do believe it got more applause than the debut of our new song “Jessica Lange“… Dang.
February 9th, 2008 Dime Bags for Ten Dollars!!!!!!
Dateline: Minneapolis/St. Paul, Mn / Wall Street Journal
The Uppermidwestern Trailer Punk band “The Skullcranes” have released a new marketing strategy says those close to The Skullcranes organization. “What it is,” states interm Skullcrane CFO known only as “Neck”, ” Is we put a bunch of Skullcrane shwag in a giant ziplock bag and sell it for only one fucking Hamilton!” The “dime bag” containing 3 C.D.’s (jskullcrane 2003, Wt. Trashmore 2006 and Cum On Feel The Shortbus 2007) a bumper sticker, a pin and usually some other random shit sells for ten dollars and is a brilliant yet risky marketing plan for the current economic climate states Jibby Fukitol, music columnist for Forbes magazine. ” There are two ways to look at it” says Fukitol, ” You may not like the music that much, but having a 1 gallon capacity zip lock sitting around is handy as fuck!”
The Skullcranes dime bag is available only at Skullcrane shows as marketing strategists from around the world waits cautiously to see how this pans out. To find locations of upcoming Skullcrane appearances visit www.theskullcranes.com
January 30th, 2008 Spread The Good Skullcranes Word
Wanna see what the “single” of the future looks like? Here it is:
Neat, eh? Now all we need is for you, the rabid Skullcranes fan, to embed that single in as many places as you can with as much accompanying praise as you can stomach (”They’re god-like in their appreciation of all things White Trash.”). How? Well, we’ve set up 4 different tracks that you can embed into your blog, your myspace profile, your facebook page, bulletin boards, etc., etc., etc.
The Omaha Jones
Stop Signs R 4 Suckers
Anoka County
Love Theme From The Skullcranes
Simply browse to the track detail page (or use the links above) and you’ll notice the “Embed” code. Copy that code and paste away. Now you’re a freakin’ DJ, wasn’t that easy? Unfortunately, we have no payola for you. But you should feel good anyway, knowing that you’ve helped spread the white trash gospel and made the world a slightly dirtier place.
January 18th, 2008 Official Press Bulletin#2
| OFFICIAL PRESS BULLETIN 2 |
| Dateline: Minneapolis Sources close to The Skullcranes claim they rock pretty hard. This coming after wide spread accusatory remarks regarding their ability to rock. Johnson had been recently quoted as to be saying “Suck it” and “Fuck it” regarding these claims. The bass player in the band known as Danne Frank has a job as an auto mechanic. Since the release of their junior effort “Cum on Feel the Shortbus” in late 2007, The Skullcranes have been eating a lot of red meat and smoking cigarettes. Investigators have unearthed large amounts of Thunderbird bottles outside the homes of all four members. The Skullcrane’s attorney, only known as “Cousin Jon” has been quoted in the local paper saying ” You can’t say you have been drinking all day if you don’t start in the morning”. |
January 17th, 2008 HUGE SHOW ON SATURDAY!!!!
By the way…….IT’S FREE!!!!!!!!!
NO COVER!!!!!!!
Yeah, thats right. Free.
******HEXAGON BAR******1/19/08******FREE******9:00 P.M.
January 16th, 2008 HUGE DAMN SHOW THIS SATURDAY!!!!!!!!
Thats right. Huge. This show is a MUST COME. A certain news entity (I’m not gonna say who, so suck it) will be there filming a bit of our show for a story on T.V. (none of that cable access shit either) about DJEDNA. If you don’t know what Djedna is that means you have not been paying attention to us, and frankly, that stings a little bit. I thought we were friends.
Q: What does this mean for The Skullcranes?
A: We are now totally huge. We don’t even know who you are anymore. No, we won’t sign that. I’m calling the cops.
Q: What does this mean for Djedna?
A: Some well deserved recognition for all the hard work Thomas has put into this. It’s about time if you ask me. Also, he’s huge too now. He isn’t signing anything either so don’t bother, or I’ll call the cops for him.
Q: What does this mean for the friends/fans of The Skullcranes?
A: It means, that when the film is rolling, please stand in front of the stage. Is it asking too much of you to make us look cool?
So, we will see ya there. We play first, because we know you all like it better that way.
9:00 P.M. HEXAGON BAR*MINNEAPOLIS* SATURDAY JAN. 19TH.
also on the bill: My Valkrie and Dumpster Juice
