Being that she’s not gracing us with her usual annual visit to the US, we decided to award Joan Coffey’s entry with an honorable mention (plus the fact that you have to show up at a gig to collect your phat loot).
Five Things I Hate About the Skullcranes.
by Joan Coffey
Aged 34 and a Half
(more…)
O.K.-
Don’t act like we don’t know that you are sick of us playing and you having to come out and see us in the cold and snow and late and we are drunk and Johnson writes run on sentences that usually make not any sense and right now you are getting ultra annoyed about the lack of content, flow, grammar not to mention words put together that are hard to say when they are next to each other.
What I am trying to say is this, we are playing at The Triple Rock on March 13th.
BAD NEWS: Its a Thursday.
GOOD NEWS: We are playing early. (By the way thanks to all of you who hung out with us until 2 in the morning last Friday. )
BEST NEWS: P.B.R.’s are $2.50!!
So, tell your boss you will be a little late on Friday the 14th due to a dentist appointment which will also cover for your sluggishness because they had to gas you up. We will be leaving the following morning for the Chicago area for a couple shows playing with The Goodyear Pimps ending in Madison.
SO…..HERE IT IS.
If you show up for this show, not only do we promise not to play another local show until the following weekend at Memory Lanes (3/21)………but we also, collectivley , guarantee………….perfect weather.*
*perfect weather is relative, in other words, don’t plan on riding your bicycle.
Suck it - traffic signs of all types. This is an undeserved message with a tune that rocks. F-T-S-S
- Weaslecoup (level 7) reviewing Stop Signs R 4 Suckers
Suck it indeed.
Hey kids~
To everyone who made it out to the 400 Bar on Saturday; it was frickin’ cold (right up there with the Hexagon night), but a good bunch of you came to share the love, and we thank you. Johnson’s mustache was a big hit with ladies and gents alike; I do believe it got more applause than the debut of our new song “Jessica Lange“… Dang.
Dateline: Minneapolis/St. Paul, Mn / Wall Street Journal
The Uppermidwestern Trailer Punk band “The Skullcranes” have released a new marketing strategy says those close to The Skullcranes organization. “What it is,” states interm Skullcrane CFO known only as “Neck”, ” Is we put a bunch of Skullcrane shwag in a giant ziplock bag and sell it for only one fucking Hamilton!” The “dime bag” containing 3 C.D.’s (jskullcrane 2003, Wt. Trashmore 2006 and Cum On Feel The Shortbus 2007) a bumper sticker, a pin and usually some other random shit sells for ten dollars and is a brilliant yet risky marketing plan for the current economic climate states Jibby Fukitol, music columnist for Forbes magazine. ” There are two ways to look at it” says Fukitol, ” You may not like the music that much, but having a 1 gallon capacity zip lock sitting around is handy as fuck!”
The Skullcranes dime bag is available only at Skullcrane shows as marketing strategists from around the world waits cautiously to see how this pans out. To find locations of upcoming Skullcrane appearances visit www.theskullcranes.com
Wanna see what the “single” of the future looks like? Here it is:
Neat, eh? Now all we need is for you, the rabid Skullcranes fan, to embed that single in as many places as you can with as much accompanying praise as you can stomach (”They’re god-like in their appreciation of all things White Trash.”). How? Well, we’ve set up 4 different tracks that you can embed into your blog, your myspace profile, your facebook page, bulletin boards, etc., etc., etc.
The Omaha Jones
Stop Signs R 4 Suckers
Anoka County
Love Theme From The Skullcranes
Simply browse to the track detail page (or use the links above) and you’ll notice the “Embed” code. Copy that code and paste away. Now you’re a freakin’ DJ, wasn’t that easy? Unfortunately, we have no payola for you. But you should feel good anyway, knowing that you’ve helped spread the white trash gospel and made the world a slightly dirtier place.
