The Skullcranes

Wt. Trashmore

Filed under: White Trash — Johnson @ 7:36 am

Again, one Brett Favre comment equals punch in the face. Besides, I’ve already heard all the good ones: “Hey, you guys gonna go play for New York?”, “Next run of t-shirts gonna have a 4 on them” ” Hey won’t your next record be your 4th?”

We didn’t cry when WE retired. Suck it. Also, we still have shit to sell.

Shows currently lined up:

October 10th. Reptile Palace, Oshkosh WI, with Droids Attack
October 11th. The High Noon Saloon, Madison WI, Mad’ Rollin Dolls after party

Nothing local yet, however, shit in the works.

I know this has been a difficult roller coaster of emotion for all of you.

Do it, The Skullcranes

April 23rd, 2008 Afraid so, Joe.
Filed under: White Trash — Johnson @ 4:16 pm

In the words of our late, great, 32nd president, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, ” Fuck em’ , stick a fork in ‘em, they are done.”
Eight years of being mildly yet loudly retarded, The Skullcranes are calling it a good run. Don’t ask why. Lets just say Jimmy quit and Joey got married, you should have known they would’nt get far, you prying judgers. Don’t judge us. Dicks.

In the last eight years we have been to Minneapolis, St Paul, Moorhead, Council Bluffs, Topeka, Lawrence, St Louis, Cedar Falls, Rockford, St Cloud, Fargo, Des Moines, Montevideo, Crystal, Iowa City, Menominee, Oshkosh, Eau Claire, Madison, LaCrosse, Beaver Dam and your mom’s house. Most of them many times. Especially your mom’s house.

We have met ALOT of really cool people and couple of dickheads here and there. We have played with bands that are Emo, Folk, Metal, New-Metal, Super-metal, Stoner Rock, Punk, Country, Hammered, Strait Edge, Hip Hop, Self-Inflated, Cutters, Republicans, Whigs, Democrats, Farmers, Growers, Buyers, Sellers, Techno, Electro, One man, Two man, Two man and a chick, 3 Chicks and dude, Native American, One chick and guitar, One bass player and a bunch of gear, funny guys, sad eyes, comedians, raffle offers, jack offers, sinners, losers and winners.

Would not trade it for anything.

We have been paid, not paid, sold some shirts and sold some C.D.’s. Gin and tonic, whiskey coke, margarita senorita, beers, teers, jeers and we have killed some bars’ supply of Jameson.

Had some of the best 3 in the morning breakfasts of all time. Some of you were there.

We’ve had vans break down. Vomited quite a bit, and stayed at a K.O.A. We’ve had no heat, no A.C. , strong smells of anti-freeze, a little blackjack and that’s a fact Jack. A little this, a little that and some pats on the back.

The Skullcranes last show will May 17th at the Northstar Roller Girls championship bout in the Minneapolis Convention Center. 10 in advance and 12 at the door.

On behalf of all of us in The Skullcranes, Thank you and CHEERS!

Filed under: White Trash — Johnson @ 8:40 am

It’s true.

Not sure how it happened, but we are gonna run with it.

Think we aint?

http://musicdownloads.walmart.com/catalog/servlet/ArtistServlet?id=127861

January 31st, 2008
Filed under: White Trash — Johnson @ 3:59 pm

spray1.jpg

January 30th, 2008
Filed under: White Trash — Johnson @ 9:14 am

spray.jpg

January 23rd, 2008 The Angry Musician
Filed under: White Trash — j @ 2:24 pm

A musician who’s spent his entire life trying to get a record deal is feeling extremely depressed. He’s been turned down by every record company he’s ever contacted. No one seems to recognize his unique genius. So, he decides to kill himself, and comes up with an ingenious plan to get back at all the record companies who’ve rejected him all of his life. He books time at a recording studio, and instructs the sound engineer to record everything he says, and every sound he hears, and then copy it all onto 500 CDs, and send one to every record company executive on the list that he hands the engineer.

The guy walks into the vocal booth; the red light is on, and he begins….”This is a message for all you sycophantic, talentless, stupid record company assholes who’ve ignored me for all these years. I’ve dedicated my life to writing and performing beautiful, emotive, soul-touching music, and all you bastards do is discard my tapes, and sign these horrible, no-talent, ridiculous, stupid bands, and these filthy, dirty rappers! Well, you bunch of fuckin’ morons; you dumb pricks, I’ve taken all I can of your puerile, shallow industry, and it’s YOU who’ve driven me to this! Goodbye you fuckin’ murderers of art!” With that, he places a gun to his head and blows his brains out.

The sound engineer looks up from the console, hits the talk-back button, and says, “Okay, that’s fine. I’ve got a good level…let’s go for one.”

January 18th, 2008 Official Press Bulletin#2
Filed under: Because We Love You, White Trash — Johnson @ 9:54 am
OFFICIAL PRESS BULLETIN 2
Dateline: Minneapolis Sources close to The Skullcranes claim they rock pretty hard. This coming after wide spread accusatory remarks regarding their ability to rock. Johnson had been recently quoted as to be saying “Suck it” and “Fuck it” regarding these claims. The bass player in the band known as Danne Frank has a job as an auto mechanic. Since the release of their junior effort “Cum on Feel the Shortbus” in late 2007, The Skullcranes have been eating a lot of red meat and smoking cigarettes. Investigators have unearthed large amounts of Thunderbird bottles outside the homes of all four members. The Skullcrane’s attorney, only known as “Cousin Jon” has been quoted in the local paper saying ” You can’t say you have been drinking all day if you don’t start in the morning”.
Filed under: White Trash — Johnson @ 5:58 pm

What the lions have to say about the tigerĀ attack in San Francisco:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KXvc9OqXGD0

Filed under: White Trash — Johnson @ 7:54 am

I likeĀ ”Whore Du Jour” and ” Dance me Pregnant”

http://www.avclub.com/content/feature/the_worst_band_names_of_07

December 19th, 2007 How not to be a douche-bag.
Filed under: White Trash — j @ 12:52 pm

http://www.rockandrollconfidential.com/archives/archives_douchebag.php