So, this is how it goes. You can vote once a day and we can win free shit.

The Skullcranes needs new shoes. Click on a city below to vote:

• Minneapolis
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People of virtual world-
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This a fact.
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-The Skullcranes
www.twitter.com/theskullcranes

First of all, Jay and I would like to welcome Dan back to Anoka County. Welcome Dan. We have a new Target since you left. In fact, it’s a Super Target. Flameburger is still going strong, there is a new liquor store across from the Super America and The Crab House went tits up.

Now, whats new with The Skullcranes? Nothing.

However, we have a plan and we will share said plan with you.

We are now in what we call in the business, “pre-production” , for the the new record being released May 15th 2009. The new record equals pretty fucking awesome.

We have shows lined up in Minneapolis, Madison and Chicago in May.

That’s all for now. Happy new year.

O.k.-

First of all, thanks to all of you in Oshkosh and Madison who came out to see us while and resisting the urge to throw piss soaked sneakers at us. Those of you who bought shit from us…..Double Thanks.
Oshkosh was awesome as always and I think we played well, now lets talk about Madison. Let me start out by saying sorry to Madison and the good folks at The High Noon Saloon. Please accept our apology for taking a giant shit on your stage. We are good for a real stinker every 5 or 6 shows and unfortunatley your number came up. We felt pretty bad about it that night but, I think if we talk about it and work through this with assistance from a self help audio cassette series we can get through this together,on both an emotional and spiritual level.
So other than that, we played some Tiger Woods golf on the PS2 as well as some Tekken. We had Thai food one night. Gas is much cheaper but the brakes in the van went out. Fuck.

Moving on……

FRIDAY OCTOBER 31 at the BULLDOG N.E. !!!!!!

Come early and eat. This a costume event. Don’t be too cool, just do it. It might even be free, I will double check that. We usually kick nine kinds of booty the show after we sucked really bad so you got that going for you…….

ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!

We have new t-shirts. Well, they are not really new, they are just a new color.

SEE YOU HALLOWEEN!!

BREAKING NEWS….DATELINE…..HILLTOP,MN.

Sources close to The Skullcranes have announced that the band has recently took the V.C.R out of their van and replaced it with a PS2. When asked about the sudden change in OTR entertainment strategy, “We have always prided ourselves on being in the forefront of technology” stated Wahl, the guitarist in the Upper Midwest “trailer punk” band. “Yeah”, states Johnson, the drunk one, “You can only watch Snatch so many times plus I need to get passed that fucking spot in Call of Duty I have been stuck on for a month…holy christ I hate those Germans.”

All-

So, we made halloween plans for you. We are playing at The Bulldog in Northeast Minneapolis Friday October 31st. You’re welcome again. This is a chance for all of you dudes to dress slutty. I know we will be. Dressing slutty I mean.

Also, October 10th in Oshkosh (one word, thanks Brad from Droids Attack, no need for name calling) with Droids Attack. October 11th we will be in Madison WI at The High Noon Saloon.

We have some other shows in the works so check back often so you don’t miss the rock.

In other news, The Skullcranes have been working on a new record. We will be recording sometime in the next 4 months and hope to have a new record for you before the spring. The 5 songs we have cooking so far kick so much ass that we are all very optimistic that they will be used in treating S.T.D’s such as clamidia.

- Das Skullcranes

Again, one Brett Favre comment equals punch in the face. Besides, I’ve already heard all the good ones: “Hey, you guys gonna go play for New York?”, “Next run of t-shirts gonna have a 4 on them” ” Hey won’t your next record be your 4th?”

We didn’t cry when WE retired. Suck it. Also, we still have shit to sell.

Shows currently lined up:

October 10th. Reptile Palace, Oshkosh WI, with Droids Attack
October 11th. The High Noon Saloon, Madison WI, Mad’ Rollin Dolls after party

Nothing local yet, however, shit in the works.

I know this has been a difficult roller coaster of emotion for all of you.

Do it, The Skullcranes

In the words of our late, great, 32nd president, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, ” Fuck em’ , stick a fork in ‘em, they are done.”
Eight years of being mildly yet loudly retarded, The Skullcranes are calling it a good run. Don’t ask why. Lets just say Jimmy quit and Joey got married, you should have known they would’nt get far, you prying judgers. Don’t judge us. Dicks.

In the last eight years we have been to Minneapolis, St Paul, Moorhead, Council Bluffs, Topeka, Lawrence, St Louis, Cedar Falls, Rockford, St Cloud, Fargo, Des Moines, Montevideo, Crystal, Iowa City, Menominee, Oshkosh, Eau Claire, Madison, LaCrosse, Beaver Dam and your mom’s house. Most of them many times. Especially your mom’s house.

We have met ALOT of really cool people and couple of dickheads here and there. We have played with bands that are Emo, Folk, Metal, New-Metal, Super-metal, Stoner Rock, Punk, Country, Hammered, Strait Edge, Hip Hop, Self-Inflated, Cutters, Republicans, Whigs, Democrats, Farmers, Growers, Buyers, Sellers, Techno, Electro, One man, Two man, Two man and a chick, 3 Chicks and dude, Native American, One chick and guitar, One bass player and a bunch of gear, funny guys, sad eyes, comedians, raffle offers, jack offers, sinners, losers and winners.

Would not trade it for anything.

We have been paid, not paid, sold some shirts and sold some C.D.’s. Gin and tonic, whiskey coke, margarita senorita, beers, teers, jeers and we have killed some bars’ supply of Jameson.

Had some of the best 3 in the morning breakfasts of all time. Some of you were there.

We’ve had vans break down. Vomited quite a bit, and stayed at a K.O.A. We’ve had no heat, no A.C. , strong smells of anti-freeze, a little blackjack and that’s a fact Jack. A little this, a little that and some pats on the back.

The Skullcranes last show will May 17th at the Northstar Roller Girls championship bout in the Minneapolis Convention Center. 10 in advance and 12 at the door.

On behalf of all of us in The Skullcranes, Thank you and CHEERS!

It’s true.

Not sure how it happened, but we are gonna run with it.

Think we aint?

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