MY TRUCK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS!
and on my mudflaps I have a pair of….

shiny chrome sluts

MY TRUCK HAS GOT A C.B. ANTANEA!
and with a wide open mouth it…….

kisses the sky

+++chours+++
You and me and the 763
we’re walking hand and hand (AND HAND)
into history
We don’t have ten bones, but you know we got stones
we won’t back down from a dare
Do you have an extra square?

MY OTHER CAR IS A FIREBIRD
and that makes me super kick ass…

in case you haven’t heard

THERE IS THREE THINGS THAT WE LOVE
its doing keg stands, motor sports and…

wearing jean shorts

+++chours+++
+++solo+++
+++chours+++
+++out+++

2. Jessica Lange
Youre fucking beautiful in the cusp of a giant monkey hand
you’re fucking beautiful scotched tape to the ceiling of our van

I’ll meet you at the cum-n-go
Sam Shepherd better be a no show
we’ll spin a little Dylan wearing little clothes
because you don’t need a weather man to tell which way the wind blows

JESSICA LANGE
DANG
JESSICA LANGE

You’re fucking beautiful slipping in a tub with Albert Finney
you’re fucking beautiful even though you’re old as fuck, and aint that skinny

I’ll meet you at the Quik Trip
Sam Shepherd has a tiny dick
we’ll spin a little Dylan wearing little clothes
because you don’t need a weather man to tell which way the wind blows

JESSICA LANGE
DANG
JESSICA LANGE

3. Asscashorgrass

I see you standing on the side of the road
I could pick you up but I’ll probably just keep going
hey grandma I saw you fall down that really sucks
I would help you up, but, I need

ASS CASH GRASS
NO RIDE FREE
ASS CASH GRASS
NO RIDE FREE

Hey Bon Scott, man I like that song
you know that one you call Ride On
and just like you I’m gonna change my evil ways
one of these days, until then I need

ASS CASH GRASS
NO RIDE FREE
ASS CASH GRASS
NO RIDE FREE

+++SOLO+++
+++QUIET PHASE PART+++
ASS, CASH, GRASS

4. All I got is ten bucks

My good friend Sancho pays for all my tacos
he said it’s getting old I need to get a job
my old boss rick was a complete total fucking dick
he brought on the hate cuz i’m always fucking late

…NOW ALL I GOT IS TEN BUCKS

my landlord brent said i need to come up with some rent
he said i’m on my ass if i don’t come up with cash
my girlfriend rita said i need to take her out and feed her
someplace nice too like sizzler

…BUT ALL I GOT IS TEN BUCKS

5. Holly Fourbarrel
Holly Fourbarrell is a girl that I know
Her heart is made of broken glass and coal
THATS HOW SHE ROLL!
She’ll put that attitude right back in it’s place
she’ll wipe that fucked up silly little smile
RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE!!!

+++chours+++

H! (O DOUBLE EL WHY)
O DOUBLE EL WHY
SHES COMING TO YOUR TOWN AND SHE’S GONNA TAKE YOU DOWN WHOAH-O
H! (O DOUBLE EL WHY)
O DOUBLE EL WHY
SHE’LL BRING YOU TO YOUR KNEES AND SHE PISSES ON TREES WHOAH-O

6. Douche
Well, You’re a no good mother fucker I’m comin’ at you hard
gonna hit you in the back of the head with a
board
I’m gonna suck out your soul and stick you in the face with a sword
I’m gonna knock you silly like a red-headed step
Comin at you hard like a viet-nam vet
DOUCHE!
you ain’t seen nothin’ yet

++++breakdown+++++

FUCK YEAH

I’m gonna fuck your mom like the k-9’s do it
Tell her I love her and by her roses to prove it
then I’m takin’ all her money, her pride and her self-esteem
FUCK YEAH
I’m gonna offer up your sister at a red tag price
all the slingblades at the truckstop thinks she’s nice
DOUCHE!
you aint seen nothin’ yet

+++++breakdown+++++
+++g to a drum thing into dueling banjos thing++

I’m gonna sell your grandma some real estate
tell her it’s nice and it’s just upstate
but really it’s Dan’s cabin that burnt down in 98
DUMB BITCH

I’m gonna take out your dad with a long horn steer
Then roll him around in the blood and the beer

DOUCHE!

7. Magic beer can ride

L O S E R
L O S E R
L O S E R
L O S E R

Im not gonna be a loser no more (NO!)
Im not gonna be a loser no more (NO!)
Im not gonna be a loser no more (NO!)
Im not gonna be a loser no more (NO!)

S U C K A
S U C K A
S U C K A
S U C K A

Im not gonna be a sucka no more (NO!)
Im not gonna be a sucka no more (NO!)
Im not gonna be a sucka no more (NO!)
Im not gonna be a sucka no more (NO!)

++chours+++
I’m gonna get my fat ass out the door
I’m gonna put my gas pedal to the floor
I’m gonna put my dirty foot print all over your shiny floor

DIK HED
DIK HED

Im not gonna be a dickhed no more (NO!)
Im not gonna be a dickhead no more (NO!)
Im not gonna be a chicken no more (BAWK!)
Im not gonna be a dickhead no more (NO!)

8. Beer and toothpaste

They said that lookin fine is money
and that hind sight is 20 20
but that don’t mean shit unless you have either of it

++bridge+++
before you go and piss on my pride
let’s put all this bullshit aside

+++chours++++

She said you dumb shit you could’ve went and got some if only you didn’t drink all that beer from Belguim
brewed by those rob-ed mother fuckers in the monistary

and she said you dumb shit instead all you got was an ashtray headache and an empty bag of pot
it’s a familiar taste….
good morning beer and toothpaste

They say in life there is death and taxes
and that’s exactly what the facts is
but that don’t mean shit unless you want either of it

9. hmmmm.

10. Christmas in the workhouse

I wont miss….

all the shitty food that i put into my belly
and all the brothers that beleive that they can sing like nelly
guard number three
his fucked up family tree
in which he hit every branch before he landed on his head

bend over man are you holding, are you holding (NO!!!)
bend over man this is getting fucking old. I won’t miss this.Merry Christmas

==breakdown part+++

i won’t miss…

never, never seeing the weather
and the national geographics with the pages stuck together
getting no sleep on a cold metal cot
and the shoes they make you wear that look like converse but they’re not

11. Maplewould’nt

Ten miles north of the capital city
where the grass is green and the girls are a little slutty
(nothin’ wrong with that,outstanding,i’m on it)
I heard that it’s nice this time of year

AND I’VE READ THEY
sing it fast and they sing it loud
and you bet mother fucker they sing it proud
this aint your grandma’s northern suburb anymore

+++bridge+++
well maybe i should’nt or maybe I should
pack up my shit and move to Maplewood
the City pages said that I could if I wanted to

+++chours+++
say goodbye to the twin cities lost and found
And say hello to the bed,bath and beyond
DO IT!!!

12. What are all those punk bands gonna sing about now

WHAT ARE ALL THOSE PUNK BANDS GONNA SING ABOUT NOW
NOW THAT THERE’S NO REPUBLICANS IN THE WHITE HOUSE

We’re gonna make a diffrence yes we can
gonna fry the man in a left wing pan
Gonna make a diffrence watch us try
We’re really fuckin’ angry and we don’t know why

CHOURS

We united as one and it paid right off
We wrote some songs and we showed who’s boss
Well we made a diffrence and we might have a beer
to celebrate the fact in only took eight years

DON’T SAY THIS DON’T DO THAT, THATS NOT HOW YOU COOK
FROM THE MODERN SUGAR COATED PUNK ROCK RECIPE BOOK

13. Livin Laveed Anoka

Dust off the T-tops (sumthin,sumthin IROC)
Strap on the high tops (sumthin,sumthin Tony Hawk)
watch out for the cops (darn cops)
as you swing through the tree tops (drunk Tarzan yell)

+++bridge+++
another north suburban disco
with high yeild and no risk-o
and you can be a part too

+++chours+++
because you don’t need a posse just a pit crew
and it doesn’t even matter what you want to do
you’re a trainwreck reality T.V. star
when you’re livin laveed anoka
when you’re livin laveed anoka

close down the chop shop (sold my tools for 40 bucks)
run through the truck stop (???????)
don’t lose your tube top (???????)
while fucking on the roof tops (drunk tarzan yell)

joolz
The Barrettes

You sound like a real c*nt, you know that? You know who else was a real c*nt? Zooey Deschannel. I worked with her in “The Happening”. Did you see The Happening?
Anyway, why don’t you lay off of Dan (who’s single, I like that.) and go volunteer at a hospital or something? Say hello to your mother for me, ok?

mw