The Skullcranes

The Skullcranes

March 18th, 2008 TREMENDOUS
Filed under: Gigs — Johnson @ 6:19 am

Yeah, I said it. Tremendous. It’s not often we use words this big and hard to spell, but this show deserves it for sure.

Come bowl, eat, drink, stare at beautiful roller girls ( not too long though, you could could get socked), did I say drink?. Also, someone once said ” Let there be rock”. Fine, you got it homeboy. Rock it is.

The Skullcranes www.myspace.com/skullcranes

The Infidels www.myspace.com/theinfidelstc

The Angry Mothers www.myspace.com/angrymothers

Northstar Rollergirls www.myspace.com/northstarrollergirls

MEMORY LANES FRIDAY MARCH 21ST 2008 10:00 P.M.

Did I say there will be a drink special? C’mon, every Skullcrane show involves a drink special. Why? Cause you love us. You also love The Angry Mothers, The Infidels ( not the shitty Infidels from Brooklyn, the cool Infidels from St. Paul) and The Northstar Rollergirls.

Bite it, The Skullcranes

Filed under: Because You Love Us — j @ 11:11 am

A big “suck it” to Mr. Corey Shovein with his 1st place winning entry; it provides valuable insight on “why” you should all hate The Skullcranes…

5 Things I Hate About The Skullcranes

Oh, the things I hate about 4 douche-bags that I shared toilets with puking in, sometimes with their fresh cut feces in the bottom of the bowl; in Dan’s case, cleaning (more…)

Filed under: Because You Love Us — j @ 9:26 am

Congrats to Debbie Donovan, who took 2nd Place and won a Dime Bag with the following:

1. The songs are so hooky that they get stuck in my head and I just starting humming skullcranes tunes at random times. It’s just not appropriate for a woman my age to be singing about loving Asian whores or somebody help my find my pants. It’s just not right. Sometimes I have to go on a (more…)

Filed under: Because You Love Us — j @ 9:20 am

Congratulations to Mr. Samuel Carey, who took 3rd Place (and won a guest list slot plus a free shot of Jameson courtesy of the band) with the following:

Five things I hate about the Skullcranes by Sam Carey

While the AWESOMENESS of the Skullcranes is truly undeniable, there’s plenty of gripes (i’ll bet five are possible). Sure they rock hard, have cool mustaches and are so (more…)

Filed under: Because You Love Us — j @ 9:15 am

Being that she’s not gracing us with her usual annual visit to the US, we decided to award Joan Coffey’s entry with an honorable mention (plus the fact that you have to show up at a gig to collect your phat loot).

Five Things I Hate About the Skullcranes.
by Joan Coffey
Aged 34 and a Half
(more…)

Filed under: Because You Love Us, Gigs — Johnson @ 10:40 am

O.K.-

Don’t act like we don’t know that you are sick of us playing and you having to come out and see us in the cold and snow and late and we are drunk and Johnson writes run on sentences that usually make not any sense and right now you are getting ultra annoyed about the lack of content, flow, grammar not to mention words put together that are hard to say when they are next to each other.

What I am trying to say is this, we are playing at The Triple Rock on March 13th.

BAD NEWS: Its a Thursday.

GOOD NEWS: We are playing early. (By the way thanks to all of you who hung out with us until 2 in the morning last Friday. )

BEST NEWS: P.B.R.’s are $2.50!!

So, tell your boss you will be a little late on Friday the 14th due to a dentist appointment which will also cover for your sluggishness because they had to gas you up. We will be leaving the following morning for the Chicago area for a couple shows playing with The Goodyear Pimps ending in Madison.

SO…..HERE IT IS.

If you show up for this show, not only do we promise not to play another local show until the following weekend at Memory Lanes (3/21)………but we also, collectivley , guarantee………….perfect weather.*

*perfect weather is relative, in other words, don’t plan on riding your bicycle.

Filed under: White Trash — Johnson @ 8:40 am

It’s true.

Not sure how it happened, but we are gonna run with it.

Think we aint?

http://musicdownloads.walmart.com/catalog/servlet/ArtistServlet?id=127861

Filed under: Because We Love You, Because You Love Us — thomas @ 1:05 am
Suck it - traffic signs of all types. This is an undeserved message with a tune that rocks. F-T-S-S
- Weaslecoup (level 7) reviewing Stop Signs R 4 Suckers

Suck it indeed.

(more…)

Filed under: The Daily Diatribe — Johnson @ 11:05 am

Hey woman on plane next to me with baby on lap,

You really ought to be ashamed of yourself. What type of smoke did your parents blow up your ass when you were young to give you this un-justified self worth?

#1- Your baby is fucking ugly.

#2- Your baby smells like shit.

#3- If your baby spits on me one more time I’m gonna spit back.

#4- I had to pay 40 bucks to check an extra piece of luggage, meanwhile, your little disease carrying shit machine gets a free ride.

#5- And the stewardess gives ME the fucking stink eye!

Filed under: Because We Love You, Because You Love Us, Gigs — j @ 11:44 am

Hey kids~

To everyone who made it out to the 400 Bar on Saturday; it was frickin’ cold (right up there with the Hexagon night), but a good bunch of you came to share the love, and we thank you. Johnson’s mustache was a big hit with ladies and gents alike; I do believe it got more applause than the debut of our new song “Jessica Lange“… Dang.

(more…)